Ignoring the judgment

SNAP parent, Natalie, blogs about her family’s journey after her son was diagnosed at 2.5 years old with autism along with sensory processing disorder, global development delay and a speech and language delay. Here she gives a little insight…

We came to SNAP at around the time Rudy was diagnosed, I was completely lost, suddenly propelled into a world I knew nothing about.

SNAP were amazing and supported Rudy and my family so much, not only giving Rudy a safe place to play free of judgement but also a place of support and learning for me and my family, helping and guiding us through processes that were alien to us: EHCP’s, specialist schooling, transportation, the list is endless.

For us it was the judgment we felt so much from others. Rudy was so young with such a host of difficulties that he was trying to manage on a day-to-day basis. I felt useless as his mother as I just didn’t know how best to parent him, what did this little boy want, how could I help him?

The overwhelming nature of the world around him led to my boy being aggressive, stressed and incredibly difficult to manage. We would get stared at in supermarkets, tutted at, we were even told once that children like my son should not be allowed out.

I was lost, so I did what many people may do and retreated into my own world. We stayed in, we rarely went out, we retreated to safety, we avoided the judgement, and I suppose in some way for us it worked, it kept us safe but did it keep us fulfilled?

How dare a society that understand so little force me and my son into our home, afraid to go out because of what other people think.

So, we changed! We owned who we were, I spoke about Rudy to anyone who would listen, and we became the loudest proudest autistic family there was.

We ignored the stares, we ourselves stopped judging others, perhaps they were stares of curiosity, empathy even, we opened our own eyes.

If I could tell one thing to the person I was when my son was first diagnosed it would be to trust your gut. Be the parent you want to be not the parent others expect you to be.

Block out the noise of other people’s expectations. Instead, listen to the people who support you, the people who want to learn and understand, but most of all to believe in yourself; you have got this, you know your child better than anyone else.

Take time, ask for support if needed from friends, charities such as SNAP or counsellors, and invest in yourself so you can be the best person for your family.

If you’d like to follow Natalie’s journey, check her out on Facebook at Better to be Different.